I think at some point in my Navy career I developed a slight case of PTSD if that’s even possible.  The reason I say this, is that I have recurring dreams of the same type that wake me up whenever I get stressed out.  It took me a long time to associate the stress and the dreams, but now I can see it for what it is.  About 80% of all my dreams revolve around being on a deployed ship, most times an aircraft carrier.  Since I did six overseas deployments and numerous detachments on board carriers, it stands to reason.  When I am really stressed, I always dream of falling overboard and end up in the water.

I think I know the incident that drives these dreams I have, although at the time it actually happened I thought it wasn’t really a big deal.  I mean, I knew the danger, but nothing happened so why dwell on what might have been?  This story is the incident that happened to me on the USS America and the realization that hit me the next day.

Still Going Aboard Ship, Even On Shore Duty

In the mid 1980’s I was a 1^st Class Petty Officer attached to VS-27 at Naval Air Station Cecil Field Florida.  We were a training command so all the new pilots and aircrew assigned to an S-3 Viking aircraft went through training at our command.  Part of that training would be to get “Carrier Qualed”, meaning they had to fly out to a carrier and perform a specific number of carrier landings.  During these times, the squadron would send a detachment of maintenance personnel to the ship for the 2-3 week period that the carrier was underway to support these training evolutions.

I did many of these detachments and was on several aircraft carriers during these detachments.  The USS America is the ship that the incident happened on.  Each carrier is unique.  Even ships of the same class do not have the exact same layout.  Most of my time on ships was on the Forrestal Class of carrier.  The USS America was a Kitty Hawk Class of carrier, which came after the Forrestal Class.

Set The Stage

In order to set the stage, I need to describe the area around an aircraft elevator on a carrier.  The elevators travel from the flight deck down four levels to the hangar deck.  Each elevator (there are four of them) normally transports two aircraft at a time.  These elevators are as big as a basketball court, and are positioned around the perimeter of the ship.  Three are on the starboard side, with one on the port side.  Since the elevators were around the perimeter, they have netting around the edges to catch anyone who fell or got blown over (see picture).  There are very few places on the flight deck that do not have netting or a catwalk surrounding it, but I accidently and almost fatally found one.

Night Time On The Flight Deck

Part of the pilots’ qualifications is to land at night.  Working nights on the flight deck is a unique challenge.  When you are working the flight deck at night you cannot use a regular flashlight.  Any flashlight has to have a blue lens, which really cuts down on visibility.  You can only see things within about 5 feet of you.  Also each aircraft is tied down to the deck with a minimum of six chains.  It’s very easy to not see a chain and trip over it.

The night this incident happened we were flying normal night ops.  Around 3am we were launching one of our aircraft which was parked on the aft section of elevator number 3. Elevator 3 is the one closest to the back of the ship.  I was a Flight deck troubleshooter and final checker. One aspect of my job was to give the aircraft a last look over before it was unchained and taxied to the catapult.  This final lookover is done with the aircrew inside and the engines running.  For this particular spot on the flight deck (aft side of elevator three) the port or left side of the aircraft was not accessible due to it being parked within inches of the edge of the elevator.

Someone Has To Do It

With that being the case, it was not impossible to perform the necessary pre flight checks.  You just had to be aware of where you were at all times.  I volunteered to check that side of the aircraft. When the time came , I ducked under the jet exhaust of the starboard engine (right side of the aircraft) and belly crawled under the aircraft. I reached the port side main landing gear area, where all of the checks needed to be done.  Now remember it was pitch dark, and my flashlight was still in my tool pouch.  I didn’t need it until I had to look at the hydraulic gauges in the wheel well area.  I looked over the wheel and brakes, then right when I was going to stand up to look in the wheel well, I slipped and fell. 

What The…

This was the “luckiest” fall ever, since I did not actually fall completely off the ship. After a lot of contemplation, luck had nothing to do with it.  It was a higher power looking after me.  I fell off the elevator, which is about 100 feet from the water, but I was still hanging on to the side of the elevator. Normally when someone falls backwards off something they fall more “backwards” like a tree would fall, but in this case I fell straight down.  Maybe more like sliding off feet first so that I was oriented in such a way that my arms were able to stop the fall.  My head, shoulders, and arms were still above the elevator but everything else was hanging over the side. 

All I can say at this point in the future is that it was a darn good thing that it WAS pitch black out and that I could not see where I actually was, or the near death situation I was in.  You see where I was, nobody could see me, and if you fall off a ship in the middle of the night, you might not be missed for several hours and would likely drown if the impact from the fall did not kill you outright.  Even though I was wearing a float coat (inflatable life preserver), this was before the time of salt water activated devices.  I would have had to manually pull the inflator, and would likely have not been conscious.

Nagging Voice Or Guardian Angel?

My first thought as I was hanging there was that I should just let go and fall into the netting that I knew was (or should have been) there. I was just about to do that when a little nagging thought hit me.  If the netting is there, I should at least feel it with my foot since I am mostly hanging off the deck.  So I started swinging my feet around to see if I could feel anything and I could not, so I decided I should just try to climb back up and if I fell then the net would catch me.  I just thought it would be easier to climb back up from the current situation rather than try to struggle into a position from the net where I could climb up.

Then I pulled myself up onto the deck and finished my checks, and then belly crawled back under the jet.  I really did not think much of the situation and was somewhat glad nobody saw my embarrassing moment when I slipped.  It wasn’t until the next day when I decided to go back and see just how far out the netting was in that spot that I came to the “OH CRAP” moment.

A Half Second Later…What If…

In that exact spot where I fell, there was a section about 15 feet long where there was NO NET.  It was a sheer drop straight down.  At that time I came to realize that I had someone higher up looking after me.  I stood there for a few minutes just letting it soak in as I watched the water flow by 100 feet below.  Looking aft at the water behind us I thought, “There go I, but for the grace of God”.  I KNOW that at that moment my psyche was deeply impacted because for years and until this day I have recurring dreams about this.