Roosevelt Roads: My Introduction

The Navy used to have a Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico called Roosevelt Roads.  It has since been closed, but it was a place we often sent a detachment to.  There was a bombing range and an underwater acoustic training area there so aircrews could practice their warfighting skills.  Also Ships that were getting ready for deployment would do their final training exercises off the coast.  “Roosey (pronounced rosey) Roads” would be the “enemy base” and aircraft would fly out to attack the ships to simulate a war scenario. During my career, I was there at least 10 times.

First Impressions…

This story is of my first time visiting Roosey Roads.  It was NOT fun!  In fact, it was a horrible experience.  My attitude towards deploying there gradually changed over the years, but that was mostly due to infrastructure changes on the base.  The first time I went there is was literally a dump.

The first thing that hits you when you get off the plane is the heat.  I mean I was stationed in Jacksonville, FL for most of these deployments, so I was used to heat and humidity.  It was still a shock when we got off the plane and immediately started sweating heavily for every minute of this deployment.  Welcome to tropical Puerto Rico!

Another thing you quickly discover at Roosy Roads is something called a “Screaming meme” (pronounced me-me; not mim-ee or mim like todays use of the word).  It’s an unforgettable experience the first time you realize what happens when a meme lands on you.  I do not know what they are technically called, but they are very small black bugs, no bigger than a pencil dot.  The first time you get bit by one you are looking for some bird sized wasp stinging the daylights out of you.  It takes a few moments to realize that the small black dot is not a freckle, but rather the source of your sizable pain.  I don’t think they actually “bite” you, but rather secrete an acid on your skin to try and dissolve you in order to feast on your flesh.  You definitely know it when you are bitten.  Welcome to Puerto Rico!

Wait! It Gets Even Better…

After discovering the ravenous local wildlife we got to discover the barracks where we would live for the next three weeks.  It’s hard to describe the condition of the barracks, but deplorable comes to mind.  It was a building for transient people who were not actually stationed there, so there was no funding for up keep.  After all, anyone who complained would be gone in a matter of days or weeks, so why bother to make it livable?  We had four guys to each room.  There was no air conditioning, no TV’s, no anything, except two bunk bed units with questionable mattress stains.  There was a window that you could open BUT there was no screen, so you basically invited every insect on the island in to feast upon you while you tried to sleep.  Our room was on the third (top) floor.  I honestly don’t think air conditioning had been invented on the island at this time.  Welcome to Puerto Rico!

Well…There IS That…

The only good thing about the trip is that rum was very cheap!  I got a half-gallon bottle for less than $3.  About the only way to sleep was to drink until you had a buzz then try to sleep.  I think the alcohol in the blood deterred some of the bugs.  We had to leave the window open or we would have roasted like a rotisserie chicken, and we left the door open to maybe catch an occasional breeze.  Welcome to Puerto Rico where Baccardi Rum is made and is cheap!

One night, we were woken in the middle of the night by a couple of other guys who charged into our room and turned on the lights, yelling and swinging a broom.  They were yelling, “Rat! Rat! There’s a rat in here!”, so that got us wide awake real fast.  The guys on the top bunks didn’t have too much to worry about, but everyone else was running around yelling profanities and trying to see if there really WAS a rat or just some drunks pranking us. 

Yes there was a rat!  This was not some gerbil-sized rodent.  This was a genuine HUGE sewer rat.  And it was on THE THRID FLOOR!  We cornered the rat under one of the bunks and fought it to the death…his death not ours.  It was a crazy night and only highlighted the crappy conditions we lived in.  We worked about 14 hours a day, then drank until we could sleep.  Good thing we were young back then.  Welcome to Puerto Rico, and I can’t wait to leave!